To the girl I will one day, or perhaps may have already met,
Let me just skip past all the clichés about how you complete me and are the light that shines when all is dark.
No, see you deserve more than that.
Love is more than bland words strung together and chemical reaction.
See, my neurons don’t just emit the right amount of dopamine when I’m around you. Standing on the edge of my synaptic gaps, unable to see the other side, yet still they make the jump. The leap of faith across that empty void, hoping with every might they have in their microscopic membrane that the message is received. Creating a sparking chain that links my heart and mind into one uniformed thought. You.
That you, are worth that risk.
And I, just like the electrical impulses within my brain, will jump at any glimmer of hope. Facing the distance between you and I becoming a we, or falling flat in a rush of heartbreak.
And if my faith serves me well, and fall into the arms of your love, I’ll take hold of your hand. We’ll have a connection that can’t separate our heartbeats. We’ll fill the spaces left within us from every cigarette burned scars left by our exs. We’ll sing choruses in harmony; fill the empty space left within our beds.
That cold uninviting void turns my bed traitorous; comfort no longer seems like a right but a privilege.
My bed feels empty without you here.
I’d hate to say you complete me, because we both deserve a fully functional self, but if you could see how I spend my time away from you, then perhaps you could fully grasp how much I appreciate every second I am with you.
If you could see the crusades I fight in my head over what to say, when to say it. Or when my lips should deliver the message without any words. The infidels of doubt creep in on hopes and dreams, flanking my heart from all sides.
Faith, my strongest weapon in this war. Faith that you would understand that I’m not obsessed with you, or need you to feel alive; but that you are worth every drop of metaphorical blood spilled in my head trying to make you the happiest I can at any given moment.
See, I’m not too great with words, and my heart speaks its own language. And until I find the correct cypher for its code, let my eyes be your Rosetta Stone.
Let them show you the destinies and possibilities careening through my soul.
Let them show you that each time I look at you I fall in love again.
If love is at first sight what do you call the fleeting glances in-between?
Love, well it’s not just at first sight, at least for me.
I love in a quantum reality, experience all the possibilities of the moment we met while I picture your smiling face on our wedding day.
My heart understands the relativity of time, but living in a linear world restricts me.
Perhaps I live too deeply in possibilities,
Not just picturing them, but experiencing them in a fraction of a second.
Unable to let time unfold I try to force one of those moments to life. But once I try to speak life into the scenes in my mind they get stuck on my tongue, unable to coincide with the reality around me.
Let my eyes show you how happy and content I am within your presence; my soul is at peace, and bursting with anticipation.
Let them show you that even though we may fight, we may learn how to hate each other, but I will always a sliver of love I keep sparkling in my eye, in the glimmering reflection of my tears.
Love, I will always love you.
Come meet me halfway and we’ll shine our lights together illuminating the world in hues we’ve never seen before. Sing our choruses, not changing to harmonize, but to hear the melodies we resonate naturally.
Come take my hand, and I’ll show you how deserving we are of each other. I’ll teach you the physics of my heart if you’ll show me the possibilities you see.
I’ll never forget that moment, the one when I first met you, when I first loved you, and how staggering the odds are that I could have missed you.
See, you, whoever you are, are beautiful.
I love you, though I don’t know who holds claim to that love.
And when we meet I’ll begin finding excuses to justify that love.
I guess that’s all dating is.
See, I love you, but I don’t know why yet.
And I’m dying to figure that out.
